Christian University Prefers Jobs to Jesus

January 15, 2010

Abilene Christian University has officially hailed Steve Jobs as “the second coming of our Lord” after integrating the miraculous iPhone into campus life. The classy device, which is known worldwide for performing incredible miracles in the palm of one’s hand and being, in many cases, more omniscient and benevolent than the Lord himself, is spreading like wildfire with nearly 50 percent of students and 97 percent of staff using the device. University administration has (literally) hailed the invention to be “at least three times more miraculous than walking on water,” and implied that Steve Jobs would have been “stiff competition” for Jesus Christ had they been alive at the same time.

Some have argued that teaching creationism on a device that is the result of thousands of years worth of humanity’s progressive technological achievements might be difficult, but most students have asserted that the iPhone appeared to be “irreducibly complex” and must have been introduced to Jobs in a vision from the lord himself.

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God’s Banana

January 14, 2009

This is brilliant:


– Sean.

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