Having not been very impressed with the iPad, I decided to make a satirical entry based on the “features”section on Apple’s website. Enjoy!
It looks like a big iPhone, but it’s really a big iPod Touch.
9.7-inch LED-Backlit IPS Display
With more acronyms than you have ever encountered in a name, the iPad’s LED-backlit IPS display with 178 degree viewing angle is, literally, the most complex display that you have ever seen, and spelled. The display is so bright and glossy that, when used in a dimly lit room at full brightness, it’s guaranteed to not only cause excruciating eye strain, but to burn through your retinas up to 3 times faster than the sun itself.
Performance
The A4 chip inside iPad was custom-designed with only one thing in mind, literally. Its revolutionary “unitasking” capablity will allow you to play a game, or use Facebook, or browse the web, or watch YouTube, each at its own time. And with up to 10 hours of battery life, you can do up to one thing at a time for a very long time indeed.
Connectivity
The 30-pin connector on the bottom of the iPad allows you to dock and charge it. And that’s all. If you want to carry around proprietary adapters to inconveniently sync pictures from your camera, you may be interested in the Camera Connection Kit. If you want to do almost anything else with the device, you may be interested in how thin and light the iPad is. At just 1.5 pounds and .5 inches thin it is the most portable tablet ever. Ever.
-Sean.
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Sean.Perrin
The Exscribition 